


i'm all out of breath

by larryink (blynrin)



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Insecure Harry, M/M, Self Harm, if this will trigger you do not read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:03:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1574630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blynrin/pseuds/larryink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry's secret is revealed and breaks him. louis tries to fix him.</p><p> </p><p>  <i>he didn't want to make louis cry.</i><br/><i>robbed of his razor, harry digs his fingernails in and scrunches his eyes shut. he hears the door open, but stays still on the bed, crying silently as the bed dips beside him. he can hear louis' hiccups as he tries in vain to keep himself quiet.</i><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm all out of breath

**Author's Note:**

> the ending is so bad this entire thing is so bad forgive me
> 
> all mistakes are my own and it probably doesn't even make sense oh god

harry stares in horror at louis before shoving the sweatshirt in his face and pushing louis backwards into the hall. before louis even knows what's happening, the door is slammed shut and locked, and he's left in the hallway with harry's last defense hanging limp from his arms.  
louis stands there in shock for a few moments before a sob breaks through, startling him. "harry?" he knocks on the door, "harry let me in," he can't even think, what is happening, what- "please let me in, hazza," he whispers, sinking to his knees with his forehead pressed against the door.  
"louis, p- please go away," harry's voice is weak, cracking midway through.  
"harry-" louis mumbles, voice thick, his hand clutching the sweatshirt while his other goes to the door. "baby, please let me in. please, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to-" he breaks off on another sob. 

harry's confused, nails gripping his wrist and breaking the raw skin. why is louis sorry? louis didn't do this to him. harry did it to himself.  
tears are falling freely from his eyes but he's silent, swimming in self disgust. he gets up from the floor, unlocks the door, and sits on the bed.  
he didn't want to make louis cry. _worthless,_ his mind whispers to himself, and harry's hands go to the skin of his stomach.  
robbed of his razor, harry digs his fingernails in and scrunches his eyes shut. he hears the door open, but stays still on the bed, crying silently as the bed dips beside him. he can hear louis' hiccups as he tries in vain to keep himself quiet.  
 _you're horrible, making him cry. you should never have spoken to him that day, never called him back. you don't deserve the love he's shown you,_ the voice whispers, and harry whimpers.  
he finally opens his eyes and sees louis staring at his stomach in horrir where he's been digging his nails in. blood is welling up where he broke the skin.  
"harry-" louis starts, and harry prepares himself for when the boy tells him _you're disgusting, what did i ever see in you, i can't stand you._  
"you can leave, louis. i understand," and harry starts crying again, staring up at the man he loves.  
but louis looks shocked at his words, and his hands move to cradle harry's face in his while he presses gentle kisses to his forehead, eyes, nose, cheeks, and finally his lips. "no, baby, i love you. i'd never leave you, i understand hazza. i'm here for you, i'll help you. i love you, so much," his tears are wetting harry's face. "please don't hurt yourself because of me, i'm always going to be here for you, okay? call me next time this happens harry, please."  
harry can't handle this, his fingers scratching across his stomach as his heart bursts, because how did he ever manage to find this boy? this time his sobs wrack his body, and he curls in on himself because it hurts too much. everything hurts too much, his body bare and laid open for louis to see him. he's naked even with pants on, but louis' eyes feel like fire tracing over him and they're both crying now, louis cradling harry's huge and lanky body on his lap, arms wrapped around him.  
"we'll get through this, okay? i love you hazza, remember that. always remember that, okay? shhh, hun," louis continues to whisper to him through it, though, and harry curls in tighter because it just hurts, but louis is here for him.


End file.
